Reader Interactions


  1. hoiyinli says

    The older I get, the more I realise how important it is to have a good relationship with food and that it’s always good to eat something, rather than nothing. I remember in college, I heard from some of my friends that this girl (who was really stunning actually) didn’t eat much at all. A blueberry muffin would basically be her lunch but she was proud of this. Ironically she’d photograph food a lot and show it on Facebook. I have another friend who does this – she ALWAYS photographs amazing food, masses of it but the times that I have ate with her, she doesn’t seem to eat much at all. And at times, it makes me feel quite horrible about myself because I usually finish my meal, or at least a good portion of it. I know that I am eating healthily and fine, so why feel bad about it? The mind is truly amazing. I think what you eat can be influenced by those closest around you, either in a bad way or good way.

    Growing up from the age of like 7/8, I got really chubby. I actually lost a lot of weight at age 12 as at that time, a lot of foods were cut from my life because of my eczema which was horrific at the time. I also learnt about exercise. I cannot say that I am that much of a fitness person now (definitely need to get back into it…) but I’ve definitely had my insecurities. My auntie (Thank God we don’t live in the same country) always has a go at me even now, when I’m a fully-grown adult. She literally, always says, in front of everyone, how fat I am or how broad my shoulders are. It used to get me down a lot about myself, but in the end, I just chose to treat myself better because some people won’t change, so I will – for the better! 🙂
    The thing is, Asian body standards are very ridiculous and I am a bit bigger but I don’t think I’m THAT bad.

    • LauraJ says

      Firstly, from what I can see, you’re not bad at all. And everyone has their own perceptions.

      Some look at me and tell me that I’m super skinny, others say that I’m normal and some suggest toning. I come from a very upfront and honest family. I’ve been told I should lose weight growing up and sometimes my body is still criticised.

      But who makes the standards? Being an auntie, it will be tough to not let her views affect you. However, she is one person and something in her childhood has made her view weight that way.

      And it’s probably the same with your friends. The fact that they post so much food, indicates they have issues. I remember at one point, I would barely eat with anyone and then go home and scour my cupboards.

      I can completely relate to this and learning that food is not the enemy, is a really hard thing to grasp. You can actually gain weight from a lack of food and muffins are full of sugar.

      You’re far more likely to look better when you eat well. So don’t worry! x

  2. ughmango says

    I have had so much problems with eating when I was younger, I managed to go through days without any proper meals. I didn’t eat breakfast, I didn’t eat at school and when I came home I had small meal and that was it. I was indeed very thin back then. Now I am over those unhealthy eating habits and yes not as skinny as I was back then but I am eating so much better and healthier now and I workout at least three times a week. I am so happy with myself even though I do sometimes (or way too often) look back and wish I would be as skinny as I was back then. So I can totally relate to this whole post, I am trying to be strong just like you! By the way you look gorgeous in those pictures ♥️ xx

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you!! I am so happy that you have managed to turn it around. Exercising and eating well just makes you feel so much better and I like being able to see definition.
      There was an awful stage I went through where my lower stomach was bloated but my waist had my rib outlines showing quite badly. I just didn’t feel strong or confident at all.
      It is tough and although strong is the new thing, ‘skinny’ is still everywhere. Especially on Hollywood actresses. And with all the weight-loss promotions, it’s hard to not get caught up in insecurity.
      I’m going to think of more articles to help us remain strong and hope we both continue. xxx

  3. ialysee says

    I totally relate to this. Even when I just read the title. I love keeping fit, so much so that sometimes I do think I am obsessed and it is unhealthy. I used to do it purely to lose weight and be skinny, now I try not to focus on that, but it is very very difficult. You start to believe your thoughts and obsessions are real. I hope you start to feel better soon x

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you! It is really difficult. And I think maybe because there is so much emphasis online with physical progress, you can’t help but think that you need to keep toning up and in the process maybe lose weight.
      Just writing this was a type of therapy and it’s made me think about ways to make myself focus more on mentality instead of outer appearance. Thank you for reading. ☺ x

      • ialysee says

        I totally agree. There’s so much focus on fat loss, but this is so hard when you are skinny but just feel like you have fat to lose. Can definitely make you focus too much on weight loss! I’m glad this post has helped you 😀 xx

  4. makeupdreamerblog says

    It’s actually a common thought that dieting means starving but everyone needs to know that eating healthy in a controlled way you do lose weight with exercise obviously. You are looking pretty ❤

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you! I understand that dieting or even the word diet itself combines so many different factors. I think because I was always not eating and literally starving myself when I set ‘diets’, that’s how I link the two. Eating healthy and exercising is definitely the way to go. 🙂 x

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you girl for reading! I think it was so raw because I wrote it down as though it was a diary entry. I’m so used to writing on my laptop now but words can be different with pen and paper. If that makes sense? x

  5. Lise says

    I get stuck with thoughts about skipping a meal or pushing myself just a few hours too and it’s awful. All of these ‘standards’ that we are supposed to follow does more harm that good, honestly. Thanks for sharing your thoughts on this, it’s nice to know I’m not alone.

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you for reading. You’re definitely not alone. Unfortunately I think this is quite common. Even though it’s not healthy, there can be this part in your brain which believes that a lack of food somehow makes you look better. x

  6. Kerry LifeandLoves says

    I am a serial dieter, since gaining weight and a medical problem a few years back. I can relate totally to the control thing you talk about, and for me, its not a healthy mindset. The last couple of years I have a healthier relationship with food, and am slowly learning not to use it as an emotional crutch. Its a slow process, but I focus on a healthy mind and relationship with food now, rather than weight. You are doing just great, health and fitness is a great focus xx

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you Keri! Equally it’s great that you are working on a healthier relationship towards food.
      I think even from childhood, because I was occasionally rewarded with sweets and I used ice-cream etc to make me feel good, it somehow linked me to not eating to make me feel good about my body. Especially when I gained two stone in college.
      I hope you keep focused on thinking more about health and we no longer link emotional ties. I really appreciate reading comments like these that relate. xx

  7. jyo says

    From the past 3 months…I gained much weight as I m not hitting the gym regularly….have to think seriously now (scared to look myself in the mirror nowadays ) and u look FAAAB as always girl ❣❣

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you! I don’t believe you have any reason to not look in the mirror, but I understand that gaining weight does make you feel less confident at times. You’ll get there. And it happens, everyone goes up and down at some points. x

  8. Beyoutiful says

    I’ve been really focusing on really getting in shape and I have but really have to take it more seriously and set a goal for myself. So happy for you that you’re really focusing on your health and fitness and you look amazing girl <3

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you lovely! I’m slowly going back to actually feeling healthy again. Not eating has left me so drained and exhausted. I feel the perfect weight is whatever you feel happy with. So I hope that you do get to where your most content, but think of it in terms of physical fitness and not physical appearance. x

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