If we were having coffee…
A coconut milk latte on this occasion. The coffee shop would look authentic – an original, non-chain tucked away in a hidden corner. The dainty chairs would make us think of Paris, and in that moment, we would want to sit outside and watch the world go by.
I would tell you I want to date
I’m an introvert who needs alone time. I have enjoyed being single – freedom to go on holiday at the last-minute – entirely selfish and wrapped in my own dreams. But change is good, and I like the idea of having a partner to experience life.
Though I’m afraid of love
I’m an all or nothing girl. Knowing that I fall easily and completely – what if I spend the rest of my year in heartache? What if I pick a bad seed again? And what if I don’t?
I’m afraid love is just a word – Harry Mulisch
What if the person is perfect and I’m the problem. I don’t do cheese (not even in food), and it’s hard opening myself up. Why are feelings easier to share on a blog?
If we were having coffee..
We would discuss dating as a blogger
If a date found my blog, he would know more than my family, and sometimes my friends. He would have intricate details – my insides naked – him fully clothed and able to inspect.
Though I wouldn’t discuss the beginning. I believe love is special sacred. We often want to film and photograph everything. We desire our memories to keep forever. The power of the mind however – that feeling – purely going by memory, is not one to forget.
By this point, our coffee’s have lost steam. Our sips become gulps. I scour the menu for vegan options, what would you eat?
I’d tell you I’m a hopeless romantic
I know it’s silly and I know it’s untrue – why can’t I wear a trench coat in the rain with a man who looks like George Peppard? The rain doesn’t bother me much, I don’t even think about my hair getting wet.
Love is an ice cream sundae, with all the marvellous coverings. Sex is the cherry on top – James Dean
I could act as Audrey for a minute – who played Holly Golightly – a character I relate to more than a real person.
Movie love is so cliché, yet I want a guy who is that devoted. Wears a suit as though it’s a casual pair of jeans – sophisticated enough to educate me on worldly wisdom. You sigh – no wonder I’m single you think, as you take another gulp of coffee.
If we were having coffee…
You would be interrogated on self-love
After hearing your beliefs, I would claim I’m a hypocrite. I tell everybody to love themselves, despite terribly suffering bouts of mean reds and unworthiness.
When I’m happy – I’m as self-assured as that cat who parades the street as king. I want to capture my body, do something wild and write the next stage of my dreams.
And when the rain comes – I’m like a hopeless child – restlessly waiting for a hand to adore me. You again sigh – a bad recipe for love. A concoction leading to neediness.
There is a dream I’d share
I’m desperate to write an e-book. I’m not sure whether I want characters – who would the characters be? One friend suggested a poetry book. It seems natural enough – I have written poetry from 12 years old.
If I could find a real life place to make me feel like Tiffany’s, then I’d buy some furniture and give the cat a name – Holly Golightly
I set up a plan – but am I actually a poet? Does it matter if no one will read? I secretly want to write a book I love as much as I adore Breakfast at Tiffany’s. Suffice I’m no Truman Capote.
Writing this down, I played the instrumental version of Moon River throughout. I cannot write well without instrumental – it changes on each occasion.
How would you be having coffee? Have you sat down at a coffee shop today? And I would love to know, what random thoughts are playing on your mind? Are you thinking of love, life, dreams? Are you in a deep place, because now I could easily have one of those deep conversations. Maybe I will watch Hepburn as Golightly after a therapeutic bath.
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This is such a lovely and heartfelt post Laura, it has been a pleasure to read you through this festival of words, absolutely loved the write up. Keep blogging, keep smiling…take care Laura❤
Thank you lovely! That’s the best comment I can receive about any of my posts! x
I loved this, the honesty in the writing and self awareness are inspiring. I can see how dating and having a blog can be different. It’s gives a inside look at a person for sure, but it’s only a peek. We are so much more complex to ever understand I think, and ever growing so what’s written today may not always be true tomorrow.
I must be living under a rock because this is the first coffee post I’ve read As for me, I’m a tea guy myself ☕
Good luck on the book!
That’s a very good point. I was going through my old blog posts yesterday and realised that my thoughts have changed on many of the topics I wrote about last year.
So blogging is only a fraction of who we are. But people are quick to judge – I wouldn’t let my date see my blog until we were in a relationship.
And I’ve not pulled you out the rock, welcome to these coffee posts 🙂
Thank you!! I really poured my heart in this piece. I don’t like my voice either. When I did this poetry video reading out loud, I had to build up confidence to listen to the finished result.
But I think a lot of people don’t like their voices. If you can, team up with someone for your first to help build up confidence.
I agree in loving yourself first, or making sure that you have enough confidence to consider yourself before entering a relationship. Self-love is such a long process – I’m there but not 100%.
Thank you! Having a big heart can be seen as a negative – being taken for granted and of course, falling for the wrong person. But I wouldn’t change it, I just wish the right person came. xx
Beautiful piece of writing and your stunning face to go along X
The formula for a sure fire hit blog post!
Thank you Anaida! I have seen the ‘if we were having coffee posts’ quite a lot, and wanted to join in. X
Very well written – interesting insight as well!
Thank you John! 🙂
I love this post! We actually share really similar fears and opinions on love…. I’m almost worryingly hesitant to enter into romantic relationships xx
I’ve been single for a while and I’m at a point of just wanting to find someone. But then super scared in equal measure. xx
Enjoyed reading this post, I could feel your words flow from the heart.
Thank you Megala. I love writing this piece because it felt good sharing my feelings after.
I love these kinda posts and really enjoyed reading yours! I would have to agree that my blog friends know much more about me than my real friends haha. I also feel the same way..would like to settle down and be in a relationship but at the same time afraid to commit. Would love to hear about your dreams esp your e-book! Wish we could meet someday in person and have coffee sometime. If you would like to talk, you can e-mail me anytime girl <3
Thank you lovely! The e-book has been on my mind since I started this blog. I have just not had the confidence to properly take the time to plan and put together.
Coffee sounds great! I would worry that I wouldn’t know what to say as I have shared practically everything already!
And isn’t it always stereotyped that men can’t commit and women always want to? I might take you up on your email offer soon 🙂 x
This post was amazing. Probably my favorite out of all you’ve written (and you’ve written some pretty amazing stuff). While you were talking about yourself in relation to love, I felt like you were looking into my soul. I’m a realist, but for whatever reason I’m a hopeless romantic. I want the love you find in movies and books. At the same time, I preach and preach self-love and being kind to others, but I struggle loads with giving myself the same kind of love and kindness. I go over and over in my life, as I’m getting older, whether I actually deserve love? Am I capable of being loved? These thoughts pass my mind more than I’d like to admit. Regardless, I go through life wishing, hoping that someone will come along that won’t tear me to shreds. Funny how life is, isn’t it? They gave a perfectionist with the hopeless romantic gene. Great post Laura xx
Melina | melinaelisa.com
I love being a hopeless romantic, but at the same time, I wish that I wasn’t. Sometimes I wonder whether I am the issue and I need to just get over my concept of love and settle.
I even worry about whether I will end up alone or be with someone who is just ‘okay’.
I think we go against society. You are suppose to find someone compatible and be realistic. And maybe because we want more, we over question ourselves and wonder whether we are worthy.
Admittedly, I have wanted a guy to come along and make me feel how I can’t. Kind of give me the self-love that I am missing. I’m much more confident now, but maybe we need to keep taking more daily steps – not that it’s easy! xxx
I think I’m so picky because I’ve seen real honest love. I don’t wanna settle because I want to be as happy as those people are. I know it’s possible, and I know we have to hand in there, but sometimes I’m so impatient, and I get frustrated with the situation
I’m the same – it is frustrating and impatient. I have my fingers crossed for both of us that we find someone sooner rather than later! xx
yasss, girl 🙂 x
You are a poet at heart I can tell, you know what true love is – your words tell, this such a lovely post with a musical rhythm to it! Now I think I want to have coffee with myself and wonder what would that be like 🙂
You know, I don’t think I have ever just had coffee with myself. I always have a fear of being alone in public. I wish I could though – maybe that’s a challenge to give myself.
Thank you so much for your words. I want to write more posts with a musical rhythm. 🙂
I am the same and have been telling myself to step out on my own and be somewhere alone, yet end up staying in the comfort of my home.
You are very welcome 🙂
The way you bare yourself to the world is amazing. I love how you said you preach self love then called yourself a hypocrite..
If we were having coffee I guess I would tell you the decision of dating depends on where you are withing yourself. Your confidence and comfort with yourself, so on. I know the Lucky guy better be special, you deserve nothing less.
Be happy. Be well.
Thank you! I’m definitely wanting to wait this time and find the right person. I do fall in love super fast, so I will try and take my time.
I’m not perfectly confident and comfortable with myself, but I have made huge strides in the past few years.
Loved reading this post! I also worry if friends and family read my blog, I feel I can be more myself here than in real life sometimes.
If you want to write a book I say go for it! Even if no one ever reads it write it for yourself
I’ve been working on a fantasy novel for a long time and this is the first year I’ve committed to writing once a week, it’s such a good feeling