Reader Interactions


  1. Sarah says

    Thank you for writing this! It is brilliant, logical, comforting and inspiring. I never took any issue with my chest before I stumbled upon the concept online of “tubular breasts”. That spun me into a tailspin of self-consciousness about my breast shape being “attractive-enough” even though no one has ever told me they were bad. Rather, my sweet boyfriend told me when he first saw me in a swimsuit that I had a model’s body and that women would pay to have a body like mine! lol I am short and not thin, so unlikely, but the fact that he saw me that way -and sees me that way- is what I try to remember when I think my body is in any way “objectively wrong”. Really, I’ve come to realize that all a (non-asexual) woman needs is to find a great mate for her that doesn’t bat an eye at her physical peculiarities, and to completely ignore all negative voices trying to attach shame to the look of her body, as genetics has led it to be. All of your points really affirmed this. Thank you!

  2. Neerja says

    It is truly a wonderful post, and I came across it at the right time! I have always had thinning, very fine hair, and as a woman, I always felt inadequate (thank you advertisements, for convincing me that long thick hair equals success 😐 ). Post 7 years of trying multiple treatments, I finally am trying to accept it, and even now, I do have occasional bouts of self pity. And this post gives me a big push in the right direction!

    • LauraJ says

      I’m glad this post has given you a push. My hair isn’t thinning but it is very fine and I’ve wasted plenty of time admiring women who have perfect hair volume and thickness. One of the things I learnt when I had severe acne, is that we ourselves usually fixate on these ‘issues’ far more than anyone else, and assume the worst. Also, I think everyone has a feature that’s not good enough for society, but with that are lots of other features that do make the cut. I hope you stop feeling inadequate 🙂

  3. Melina Elisa says

    This post really speaks to me. I would honestly love to get nose fillers like Lydia Millen. I don’t want to completely change my nose, and who I am. I would just love to even out the bump on my nose and make me love my side profile. I don’t know whether I will honestly go through and get it. I’m trying to see if I want to change it for me, or to be closer to the norm of beauty. Until I figure it out, I probably won’t get it done. We’ll see what happens. I am definitely for cosmetic surgery, but to some extent, it’s a little ridiculous! I never heard of nipple fillers, but I think it’s a little odd. I don’t know why I think that a breast implant is normal, but the idea of getting fillers so they always look hard is weird? Maybe cause it’s just more widely accepted? I honestly don’t know. Great post! xxx

    Melina |

    • LauraJ says

      I had to type Lydia Millen into Google because I don’t know who she is. I use to work with this girl at Mac who had a bump on her nose. She went to get it smoothed but also change the shape. And it so weird! Like the nose was nice but it didn’t look like it belonged to her.
      Sometimes I think some women are just obsessed with the idea of beauty and are willing to do anything. So nipple fillers to them are like getting your lips done. xxx

  4. jyo says

    We are all flawed. Not a single one of us is perfect. And that’s one of the great things about life. Learning to love your flaws might feel like a constant battle, but the acceptance, that love, is worth fighting for. We are so much more than what we look like, it is only when we truly understand this….not when we finally become ‘beautiful ‘… that we can achieve real happiness. Thanks so much for sharing this super insightful post. Have a blessed life Laura, you are magnificent !! XOXO, Jyo

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you!!! You are certainly magnificent! I loved reading this comment – it’s really made me smile. The love is worth fighting for – I’ve often fought for the wrong one, but the love for yourself is a battle that should never be lost. Have the most wonderful Thursday! xxxx

  5. randomthoughtsbyhaya says

    I just loved reading this post! Your line about wanting a chiseled jaw but then losing the features of your grandmother really hit me hard. Our “flaws” tell a story and connect us to eachother!

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you! I’ve always had an issue with my jaw – I do have an overbite which probably affects it. But then I also think it’s just become me. Our flaws really do tell a story and I think the older we get, the more stories we have to share.

  6. thelonelyauthorblog says

    You posts are always brimming with good advice and positive vibes, but this has to be one of your best. I myself prefer women that are natural without cosmetic surgery. We need to embrace our flaws. This is what us unique and interesting.

  7. hell0chloe says

    Yet again another amazing post, thank you so much for writing this and sharing – the history point is also so important, something that has definitely helped me to accept myself over the years .xx

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you girl!! I would love to see what my ancestors all looked like. My grandma left me a book with all these documents and photos dating back to 1700. But the others I’m completely clueless.
      Thank you so much for reading! xx

  8. Beyoutiful says

    Love this post and couldn’t agree more! I also have a big forehead and bad acne scars but I’ve learned to live with them and I like myself for who I am as a person. No one is perfectly beautiful and we all have to accept that what’s on the inside is what matters. You look great girl as always <3

    • LauraJ says

      Big foreheads = more brain space and intelligence. Haha okay probably not but whatever! People can’t be truly beautiful without being beautiful on the inside. And no one is beautiful enough for the world to all agree. x

  9. crystalsandcurls says

    Cannot begin to tell you how much I absolutely LOVE this post! I share your view on imperfection – I like to think they add character. I definitely love looking at family members and seeing things I find to be flaws on them. If I think they’re beautiful, why should I think less of myself? xx

    • LauraJ says

      You definitely shouldn’t think any less of yourself! All imperfections are potential perfections to somebody else. The amount of times I’ve put makeup on women and said…wow I love your cheekbones, or you have great skin. And then they find all these faults and say yeah but my dark circles are bad etc. Things that I didn’t even see. xx

  10. LauraJ says

    If my fingers didn’t get so frustrated with typing, I would write thank you at least a hundred times!!!
    You have beautifully summarised – flaws are courageous and a part of our story! I love reading your feedback and I’m eternally grateful! xx

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