My sister looked at me in the mirror and told me to lose weight. I squeezed my stomach endlessly after, eventually succumbing to her words. My ribcage and collar bones I can feel. There’s not much cheek left to pinch, and my old clothes hang lifelessly from my body. This is what we’re suppose to aspire to. Society’s idea of beauty is not motivating, or aspirational.
An airbrushed canvas
In Dubai, where perfection is natural for a woman to seek, two beauty bloggers declare airbrushing images as a way to motivate people to have better skin. They believe airbrushing encourages women to “adopt a healthier lifestyle and a good skincare routine” to help build confidence levels.
Airbrushed skin is not real. It’s used on celebrities who already have the flawless skin. How can it inspire a healthier life?
I’ve documented my struggles with both fitness and acne. I promote healthy living and confess my wellness has improved my physical appearance greatly. But I’ve still had a chemical peel and wear foundation to cover faint acne scars. Never would I declare my encouragement for health as a link to looking like a Facetune canvas.
I hate where beauty is going. Rather than being our best-selves, we want to look plastic and unreal. This is not motivating. I heard myself the other day, admit to wanting jaw surgery and fat removed from my cheeks to create stronger cheekbones. Modern world is about craving self-improvement; tying our insecurity with ribbons masked as ambition . We want everything cheaper, faster and prettier.
Supposedly prettier.
People calling me beautiful ruined my esteem
Throughout childhood and my teenage years, I knew I was not enough. “Think how much prettier you would look if you didn’t have spots”. “Imagine your skin colour with your dad’s blue eyes”. “You’re much prettier with longer hair, why would you cut it?”
My exterior was up for grabs. Everyone commented on how I should improve. I tried my best to follow. It was later in life around 20, after I’d trained in makeup and peeled my awkwardness – to play a sexier character, that my aspirations came true.
People complimented my aesthetic. In a weird way, the compliments made me feel bad. Years of wishing and makeup practice in the hopes of being beautiful, I discovered it wasn’t my looks that needed changing after all. It was my personality. I needed to learn how to actually like myself, before modifying how I looked. Otherwise, someone says you look better with a certain hair colour, and then you feel terrible if you choose to change it.
An influencer does not have beauty figured out
Just because a woman has flawless skin, it doesn’t mean she eats incredibly well and has a routine to rival a supermodel. It really can be genetics. Many times, the women with acne are the women who work harder than anyone else.
It’s a puzzle to track down how to cure spots. We shouldn’t view those who don’t emulate an online concept, as not motivating. Those who don’t feel perfect, shouldn’t click on an edited, contoured photo and feel inspired. What about the story?
I’m empowered by a journey. Influencers are not medics. As this article points out, there’s a dangerous side to taking professional advice from one.
What about our beauty inspiring ourselves?
I take many photos, some revealing, some sophisticated. It makes me feel good, because I’m focusing on how I want to dress and how my body will be. If young women stopped trying to achieve an unrealistic image and aimed for bringing out the best of themselves, we would live in a happier place. And as Audrey Hepburn once stated, happiest girls are the prettiest.
Though if you’re feeling down today, there’s also a beauty to sadness.
How do you feel about edited photos? Are they aspirational or not motivating? Does seeing someone with clear skin inspire you to take better care of your own?
Loved this post!! Thanks for sharing <3 Also your dress is well cute and such beautiful photos!! xo
Thank you for reading! I rarely wear pink dresses so it made a nice change 🙂
This is such a great post!
Isn’t it odd how we’re always told we would look prettier if we only changed one thing. And every person has a different “one thing” to tell us. I don’t understand why people feel the need to tell others how they should look…
I’m not at all motivated to change anything in my daily self care routine when seeing people with airbrushed skin, or photoshopped faces or anything like that… I’m more motivated by those on social media that show of their skin, no matter how it looks, and are happy with themselves 🙂
Thank you!! Yes, it always seems to be one thing. And then if you do change that, there’s also one other thing….
I think people find it much easier criticising and focusing on others, to kind of camoflague their own issues. I try to just ignore it now. 🙂 Thank you for reading!!
This was probably one of the best posts you’ve ever written. Growing up, I didn’t really pay much mind to what I looked like? I was too busy running around, playing with bugs to ever care. Once I did start caring, it was all I could think about. I think I’ve found a nice medium where I’m at. I try to do things for me than for others around me.
One thing I never thought about, I’ve been very blessed in terms of skin. Yes, it’s gotten dryer in texture over the years, but I have never (even when I had oily/combination), have ever struggled with acne. and I think you’re right! People who struggle with acne are probably the people who work the hardest to keep their face clean and clear! Great post Laura xxx
Melina | http://www.melinaelisa.com
I use to have such severe acne. You wouldn’t believe the comments actual adults have given me. And I knew at the time, that I was using the best products with the best routine, but other people didn’t see that.
I think it’s tough with looks because you get so many opinions – friends, family, society and the entire media. It’s no wonder we struggle to place ourselves. Thank you for reading girl! xxx
Great post and couldn’t agree more! A lot of people think that they should change themselves and their looks just because of what other people say or what society things but that just makes everything worse. I feel women don’t need to always conform to society standards and should love themselves for who they really are. No one is perfect and everyone has flaws, but women should be willing to accept that and love and be themselves, not changing for other people 🙂
Thank you girl! I feel the same way. It’s a shame that women grow up and become pressured or influenced to change their physical apperance, often without really wanting to. Being who we are is key 🙂
Another amazing post! And what you wrote about personality really clicked with me. For years I battled an ED and being unhappy with how I looked. When I finally came to terms with the cause of my ED (not being thin or fat but grief, anxiety, depression, and the fact it was the one thing I could control) I became much happier with myself and more confident with how I look(ed). Thirty pounds heavier, it isn’t my weight people comment about but my smile and confidence. THAT is what people ultimately take away. Not whether you are airbrushed or how thin you are.
Social media is what you make of it, and I am always more attracted to the accounts where people look authentic and content then those who airbrush to kingdom come. Thanks for sharing this sweets! <3
Thank you!! I really appreciate accounts that try more to stand out. So many all look the same now with the exact same poses in the exact same locations. All trying to be insta famous or something.
You do come across really confident. In person, I can be incredibly awkward and nervous. It takes a while for me to feel confident around others.
Thank you so much for reading! x