2018 – the year of our rude and self-entitled society. Do I sound like an 80-year-old woman on a rocking chair, cats by toes, vintage smock, proclaiming yester-years were perfect?
There I was, sat in Mc Donald’s – where all the non-meat eaters like myself go, sipping a black coffee as I wrote ‘thank you’ on Instagram comments. A man storms out the upstairs disabled toilet and proceeds a flurry of swearwords and exclamations. Another man had been banging on the door, asking if anyone was in there. A staff member opened the door to see the first man was. Queue Mc Donald’s staff being called bitches and pricks.
The all-women staff, poised and confident enough to carry on with their work – when trying to explain to this man, were told to shut-up, threatened and filmed. Now it seems, behaving appallingly is worth showcasing. You wouldn’t believe the arguments that erupt due to a toilet. Another customer faced threatening remarks in an explicit manner for taking too long, while one woman screamed her lungs out that she needed to go.
I try to remove all snobbery as I’ve seen just as much in Harrods and ‘posh’ establishments. Parents allowing their children to run riot in places not suitable, people ignorant to standing in the middle of walk-ways and paths; being spoken to as though you’re a type of slave or servant. Anyone who has ever worked a day in retail can testify to my comments.
Debates in the media
ABC News reported on a poll confirming my beliefs. The article states “Nearly eight in 10 respondents to the poll said lack of respect and courtesy is a serious national problem”. Last year, The New York Times Magazine published a piece called “The Age of Rudeness”. And in the UK, discussions from men not getting up for pregnant women on trains, to Britain’s stereotyped politeness being a myth, have been central.
Everyone is calling everyone rude – Trump has branded the word on someone else, which is similar to my dog telling people to stay calm when the doorbell rings. Some blame the cities – stress. Country homeowners say they could never live somewhere so rude, in such a self-entitled society entrapping a city. Whilst they gossip, snoop and judge – stereotypes prevailing.
It seems we have different ideas on what it means and who to blame. The youth as a primary target. William Leith writing for The Independent, spoke of the changes in etiquette and manners through each decade. “Everybody loves bad manners. It’s just that they love different types of bad manners”, he says. The joy of not wearing napkins at every meal, saying the F word – it was once manners for women to listen to men.
The complications of politeness
Noticing how etiquette is simply more complicated, William Leith also went on to discuss how we now say ‘sorry’ before needing to. Sorry as we push pass someone, sorry as we reach our hands awkwardly to grab a drink or product, without waiting for a person to move. What about basic manners and decency?
It’s becoming rarer to see better than bad. More kindness and respect. Annoyingly last week, when a woman stood right beside me on a train, her husband practically pushed me out the way and removed all breathing space to stand near her. Surly they could have stood somewhere else together, or he could have survived a mere 20cm gap.
Social media entitlement
So, in backing up my argument of the world spinning a rude and self-entitled society, the easiest target to blame is social-media. Incredibly complicated as nearly all aspects are debatable. From selfies, to posing, to self-absorption. Accounts buying followers and likes. I believe it’s all blown out of proportion, minus the buying. Social-media is a mirror of projection, a cause to bigger issues.
The American Dream has never look shinier. More and more people are aiming for the top jobs – less are for the taking. More hours worked however. Advertisements are left, right and centre promoting the goods of capitalism. There’s less appreciation from bosses and companies for individuals, young people in general are given mixed messages – go for your dreams but hey, face reality and stop being snowflakes.
Technology is encouraging people to act rudely and ghost, block, write nasty comments. People offended by almost everything. Celebrity-culture is vital – wasting time obsessing over others we don’t know. A lack of healthy debates – people refusing to think in another way. Expecting to have things without working for them – attacking those who have worked hard.
I could go on, though Lauren Bacall decades ago said it perfectly. Times are changing, capitalism is dominating, and life in a rude and self-entitled society is supposedly the norm.
What are your thoughts? Do you think we are becoming a rude and self-entitled society? Curious if others agree with me.
The age of rudeness sounds about right. It’s unbelievable how people can behave…
About a week or two ago, a couple got angry with me for not getting off the sidewalk and out into the street (in my wheelchair = impossible) so they could wake side by side for those seconds it took to just pass me. I just looked at them, didn’t say anything, and just kept looking at them as they moved on.
It’s like it’s OK to behave like an a-hole all of a sudden. What happened??
That’s exactly how it is. I get so annoyed when people just stop in the middle of a path to chat or to literally send a message – me walking fast behind them has meant I’ve bumped into them, and they look at me as if I’m the idiot.
It’s ridiculous. Sometimes I see politeness which makes me feel positive, but it does feel as though rudeness is more likely. Thank you for reading!
Yes! A few weeks ago a young woman on a bike held her arm out to show that she was about to make a left turn, and I stopped to let her pass. I think we both looked just as chocked because neither of us thought the other one would do what we did.
Lol it’s funny because some people just assume the other will be kind and continue on. Like when two people are heading in opposite directions and both expect the other to move, then they both get annoyed.
Without ranting I will say I agree with every word you said. No one has any consideration. People are shouting and cursing into the cell phones while riding the bus. Sadly, as positive as I try to be, I don’t think things will ever go back to the way they used to be.
I had the exact same thing while waiting for my train earlier. Two people either side of me just screaming into their phones. Not even at a normal voice tone! It’s frustrating.
Very frustrating.
Yes. Yes. Yes!!! I To ALL of this! You are spot on and I really do not know what more I can add. I agree that social media is to blame. I think it has given people a lot of power to disrespect beliefs and the courage to say rude things that we never would have said before the rise of Facebook and Twitter. We no longer listen to each other, instead dit goes in one ear and out the other. I hope people read this, because it is very much needed today! <3
I think social-media plays a role, but I don’t think it’s to blame for everything. Technology has given people the convenience to be rude though. And Twitter especially has encouraged people to go round throwing their views at others. Thank you for reading beauty. x
I’m not sure if it’s ore rude or self entitled or if it’s just more noticeable with the likes of social media and coverage and what not.
An interesting topic to think about though. Maybe because it’s more widely seen behavior it’s seen as acceptable when it isn’t. I’m not sure. I guess time will tell, thanks Laura!
I see far more people being rude or not considerate when I’m out in public now. So for me, it’s not just social-media.
I do agree though that because more people are doing certain things, it’s no longer seen as bad as it once was. Thank you for reading Paolo 🙂
You’re definitely right about this. It’s crazy how rude people act sometimes. I haven’t worked in retail like you but I’ve worked in hospitality and you get these situations a lot too. People not being thankful for your service, just expecting it to happen and when things don’t go 100% their way you’ll be the one to blame. I also believe that this is a disease that has spread over all generations. Old people keep saying that the young people are rude and don’t say hello to you when you walk past them (I live in a small town and that’s what you do) but it’s actually the other way around. Everyone is just focussing so much on their own life and don’t want to try to understand that other people may be affected negatively by their actions.
Another great post Laura! I wish we could have a coffee together one day. You seem like a very interesting person xx
Thank you!! It would be lovely to have coffee with you. I really appreciate you taking the time to write this comment.
It annoys me when everything gets blamed on young people. I’ve met plenty of older people who seem to have no idea what manners are.
I’m really glad I don’t work in a customer-based role anymore. xxx
I agree 100% . I have people speak to me like I’m dirt on their shoe in the Job I work in. It’s a pity that I’m more shocked now when someone is nice to me than the other way around.
I always wonder what makes some people so negative. Because even when I’m in a bad mood, I can’t treat someone as though they are worth nothing. Thank you for reading!