During a family holiday to Greece, me and my sister befriended two girls staying at the same resort. We promised to keep in contact by writing letters to one another. I broke our pen pal arrangement months later and gave up responding. Now as a blogger I maintain friendships with people across the world. Last weekend, I met one Instagram friend in person.
The great expectation
Long-distance friendships feel normal – comfortable. Most of my relationships build themselves on distance and conversation via technology. I rarely have the luxury to call a friend and casually arrange a coffee date – socialising requires timed planning. But isn’t that how friendships work nowadays? Especially when you hit late twenties and realise your bestie has a child and another’s travelling.
Neeta remembers our first online conversation perfectly whereas I struggle to recall a time we haven’t been talking. During my early endeavour on social media, I truly made effort to reach out to others and establish connections. Neeta being a personal trainer and yoga and pilates instructor, inspired me to stay focused on improving my health. I remember seeing her yoga poses and thinking how effortlessly she photographs with balance.
Over the years Neeta has remained a continuous presence. When I started my blog, she was there reading and supporting my posts; when asking her to feature, she immediately said yes. Regardless of our online rapport, meeting in person felt strange because you never know how face-to-face translates. I thought, we’re either going to sit awkwardly and realise we just have fitness in common, or the idea of an Instagram friend will transition to “regular” friendship.
Read: The Instagram Husband Shooting My Husband
Instagram friend fears
Neeta appeared exactly as I expected. Friendly, confident and at ease. When we waited for our Starbucks, I didn’t think – I’m standing besides a stranger. What seems crazy; my blog readers know insights about me which family members don’t know. My friends support my writing but don’t stay updated on posts.
Although a first meeting, her knowledge of me portrays equivalence to secrets shared amongst decade friendships. It’s fascinating to wonder whether conversations on blogs match up to chats enjoyed over dinner. Is it really the same? I feel insecurity surrounding my blogging and Instagram persona. No two people in my life describe me the same. In person, I’m typically shy and quiet. Hidden walls perimeter my body. Once knowing me, I’m sarcastic, deep, a lover of laughing and desperate to forever explore new places.
The Style of Laura Jane me differs again. My blog exposes profound meaning; I pour my heart like an Italian chef drizzling olive oil. It dashes out on almost every post; a therapy blanket wrapping my pain in soothing realisations. I’d never sit with the closest people, and spend 20 minutes unravelling, casually declaring I have no self-respect and don’t feel good enough. I’d never be able to say it in the same way.
Arranging more meet-ups
I don’t know if I feel any different towards Neeta, having met in person. Maybe that’s because I’ve counted her as a friend for a couple of years already. I suppose meeting reinstated our chats mean something. We’re lucky in some sense – not every online friend can transition. Statistically, you’re bound to meet someone and realise the few interests you share, aren’t enough to form good days out together.
Not forgetting, most online communication involves people living in opposite sides of the world. Arranging an encounter involving a plane trip puts extreme pressure on anticipation. I’d like to think however, that a close blog or Instagram friend travelling to London wonders at least, about seeing me during their stay.
In my time of knowing Neeta, she’s developed her career beautifully; publishing a mini series of books. Her book My Mini-Micro Mindset Manual is stocked in a number of shops such as WHSmith’s, Waterstones and Foyles. I recommend purchasing as a quick pick-me-up boost to keep you feeling good.
Have you met an Instagram friend or blogging in person before? How was the experience? Follow @neetafitness
How precious to have this meeting – considering how real some blog friendships become 🙂
Yes I feel very fortunate because it turned out to be a great experience. Thank you for reading. 🙂
There are so many online people and friends I would love to meet 🙂
I met one a few years ago, and everything was fine. Then some years went by and she felt more comffortable showing her real self, and she was a huge racist. I tried talking to her but she refused to listen, so I blocked her on all forums.
That’s crazy. I guess some people can easily wear disguises and masks. I feel lucky that I did meet Neeta and she was as I imagined.
From online dating, I’ve met people who are entirely different from expectation.
Some people are really good at hiding their real selves… and why hide it? Obviously they know they’re wrong, otherwise they wouldn’t have a problem being open with it.
I use to like going to my local pub on New Years Eve, but after hearing some of the racists comments this year, I don’t think I could go back. It’s shocking how many racists or certain people are hiding in society.
I can’t imagine how that must have felt… I know, they’re everywhere! If I have a problem on the bus becuse of Alonso and/or discrimination from the driver, people are quick to start with “it’s those muslims fault” and I really don’t know how they come up with something so stupid! (And I of course tell them off for saying something like that!)
It’s annoying that people bunch others together based on background and religion. As though a billion muslims all think and act the same.
At the pub, everyone was laughing and joking around about homosexuality and race. Well one group of people outside in the garden pub. They came across so nice when I first met them.
It is!
They always seem SO nice in the beginning, then after a while it’s just “wait, what the H is going on???” and they just refuse to listen to why they’re wrong to do/say what they did…
Maybe they over act kindness to hide their bad traits. Talk about a dark side!
It makes my perfectionism and grumpiness in the morning look really good, thinking of the awful traits of some others.
A very dark side indeed!
We all look good in comparison! (Not sure I spelled that right….)
You spelled it perfectly 🙂
Yay
(It is – as in, it’s annoying I mean 🙂 )
This is so cool! I try to keep online relationships as well as I can, but I struggle with giving myself time away from technology and yearning to constantly be “connected”. I can say I have many friends from all around the world, and while I’m not the best at responding at a timely manner, I can still say I have a strong relationship with a lot of these people I talk to often enough for them to know quite a bit about me. I would include you to be one of my friends! It’s crazy how many people don’t really understand relationships such as ours xxx
Melina | http://www.melinaelisa.com
I think as time goes on, online friendships won’t seem taboo or any less normal. Though it’s important to have face-to-face close relationships, I can’t see the harm in also having friends you chat to via technology.
I do struggle with balancing time online as well. It’s so easy to go on social media and waste hours commenting and scrolling etc. So I try to put a time limit in place. xxx
I love this – how cute! Thank You so much for writing this! I feel that it was so natural to meet & laugh together, I felt like I’d known, rather than ‘known’ you for years. Your writing always strikes me & gets me thinking about an array of topics, which keep my brain polished to the maximum! Keep inspiring us, please xxxx
Thank you Neeta! It did feel really natural meeting you and I’m looking forward to seeing you again next month. We’ve been talking about meeting for ages so we can finally tick this off our to-do list! xxx