Where would I be without social media? Reading a book at home fulfilling more dreams with my spare time, or watching Netflix in tracksuits I never intend to photograph. Technology’s meant to ease communication; elasticise our ability to stay in contact. But does social media really connect us?
False connections
This post collaborates with Fiona from the blog Questions From A Teenager – a lovely, creative blogger who shares my passion for discussing societal issues. During my years on social-media, I’ve met incredible people from all walks of life. I recently described my experience meeting an Instagram friend in person which you can read here.
My Instagram began as a healthy lifestyle account building a fitness community. Though I’ve began posting more fashion and personal photos, I’m humbled people from the beginning remain a presence. I’ve seen them develop – get married, pregnant, move abroad and reach their goals. There’s something oddly romantic about an app sticking everyone together.
Yet, occasionally like crinkled cellotape, sticking begins to wear. Some disappear once their account gets popular; others use you for interaction – I’ll comment if you comment. On Facebook, “friends” become old faces you once enjoyed coffee with. What originated as an opportunity to stay updated in our fast-paced world, transcended to a marketing scheme where our online lives get summarised by likes and follows. Can social media really connect us when we’re coupled to countless people we don’t talk to?
Does social media really connect us positively?
The Content Factory published 2019 social media statistics such as “95 million photos are uploaded to Instagram each day” and Facebook users tend to have “155 friends” but “only trust 4 of them in a crisis”. What’s meaningful about “friends” we don’t trust? Arguably the biggest social app Instagram doesn’t encourage people joining together. It’s a modern-day Mean Girls where women dream of being The Plastics – literally considering several high-profile accounts adore cosmetic surgery.
The app congratulates behaviour mimicking the seven deadly sins. Look at me – look at my wealth and overspending and please lust over my derrière and let’s laugh at how much food I’ve consumed in one sitting. Oh, and please feel envious of me enough to write admiring comments I can gush over. I’m not writing at a hypocritical standpoint because I copy this negativity. Instagram has helped me gain work, business opportunities and blog views. I’m entirely myself and pour my heart openly, but I don’t upload myself with spots during a bad hair day. My page carefully crafts filters and images together.
Realising the pressure and stress established from this app, some users choose to avoid filters and “pretty photos”, instead keeping in touch with a small number of people. This I believe makes social media connectable. For the majority nonetheless, wishing on influencer aspirations and obsessing over popularity – there’s little to connect us – meaningful relationships consist of a mere handful.
Anti-social behaviour
Social media users handle blocking for pointless reasons and unfollows to look like fans. I find Twitter one of the most anti-social and scariest apps. It seems one slight error and you’ll be thrown to the wolves who find you offensive. Not to mention the “clicky” groups and shock tweets over everything and anything – “oh my gosh!! I can’t believe Kit-Kat chocolate has a flavour I’ve not tried”.
There’s a particular girl I use to follow on Instagram who truly inspired me. She came across sweet, dedicated and had body goals I hoped to emulate. We’d comment and show support, until her account just vanished – deleted without trace. It was at that moment I realised regardless of how long you’ve known someone online, connections can cut whenever. There’s those I feel are true friends I hope to know for years to come, and plenty who without social media, I’d easily forget.
Does social media really connect us? It depends how you define connections and intimacy. What’s your opinion? Click here to read Fiona’s thoughts and how she interprets social media connections.
I think some social medias connect us more than others. I found tumblr to be a connecting website when it was extremely popular, and while Instagram used to be, I feel like it has both negative and positive effects? It’s not necessarily so black or white? I think it honestly depends on how the user itself uses it. I have met and gotten to know loads of people on Instagram and twitter! Great post Laura xx
Melina | melinaelisa.com
I never used tumblr but I remember when it was really popular. Instagram has its good points and bad. I think even if you are on the app and have the best intentions just to connect, it’s hard to avoid or not get influenced by what others are doing.
I’ve not met anyone on Twitter, but Instagram has given me great friendships like the one I have with you 🙂 xx
I feel that for me and you who are of similar age, we have caught the edge of social media still allowing us to have normal lives because at least, we still grew up with a considerable amount of “outside world social life”. What I mean is, it was totally normal to call over a friend’s house when we were young. for kids to still be active and play out in the street or at the park, to ride a bike. For kids growing up today or who grew up during the 2000s, I cannot say the same applied for them. It’s sad when you see a 2 or 3 year old with an iPhone and the level of inactiveness amongst young people growing up today is ridiculous!
It’s fair to say that social media has contributed to a great level of rise in depression and other mental illnesses because we witness a heightened reality on Instagram that isn’t 100% the truth. It creates a bubble. And then we chase that reality on social media when we can probably spend that time actively chasing something in real life that would benefit us more. For kids who have practically known the internet and social media all their lives, when the platforms eventually crash (even just for an hour or a day), their minds go crazy because they don’t know how to act in reality. It seems ridiculous that this has become the outcome (although not shocking) and a huge irony to something that’s described as “social”.
I use to love playing on the street and spending hours on my local field in summer. I do think it’s sad that the generation after us won’t know any different. I feel we’ve been quite lucky because we’ve slowly adapted to social media and technology.
My first phone didn’t even have a camera and I could barely afford to send text messages. My ten-year-old sister really wants Instagram and I’m glad she’s not been allowed it.
I admit when social media goes down, I am a little freaked and I don’t know why because I can happily watch films or go about my day without it. It is an irony in a way to describe the app as social, because it seperates us from reality.
I will say however, before social media, magazines received so much slack for promoting body issues and eating disorders. Most of the people I knew as teenagers were trying to be skinnier and trying to imitate the ‘popular’ girls. I think Instagram has exaggerated and gone overboard on an issue already in society – to be perfect in apperance.
I think part of social media brings us further apart. You go out for a meal with friends and you don’t have anything to talk about because you have all seen the news on social platforms. Conversation killer x
That’s true. I hate when people have their phones out the whole time during a meal or sit and scroll social media while waiting for the food. It ruins the experience. x
Okay, first of all, this was by bar one of my favourite collaborations ever! I love commenting on societal issues and was really interested to see what you thought of this topic in particular. Opinions, especially about social media, seem to vary more and more these days. I was pleasantly surprised to see that while we both stayed inside the realm of what we agreed on, we both took it in two very different directions. In a way, I feel like they fit together really well, seeing as this post is more about the individual and how we connect with others like us while my own focuses more on connections with people we haven’t met before but we feel like we know so well (such as influences).
Now to your post itself; I loved that you threw some statistics in there, I always find statistics related so social media shockingly fascinating. I feel like Instagram especially has lost its core a little – back in the day (and not even too long ago), people posted things that made them happy, likes and followers were definitely in the background. Nowadays I find that, like you said, we follow so many people we used to know, want to know, kind of know and don’t know at all. We follow them and in return they follow us. We regularly like their pictures so they will like ours. It’s more like a game of chess, a constant move and countermove, analysing the move of the other, figuring out how to one-up them or compete. There’s nothing like a good old real-life connection that is so strong you forget to check your phone for hours. THAT’S what we all should be striving for. Because it is (sadly) becoming rarer and rarer.
I completely agree with you on all points and, as always, your writing was absolutely fantastic and really brought across your points. And I must say, I am a big fan of your analogies and metaphors. xx
I love that we went in different directions with this topic. When I read your post, I realised I didn’t even think about influencers which is obviously such a huge part of Instagram.
I like how you described Instagram as a game of chess – that’s exactly it. I think it’s lost the spark it once had because so many accounts look fake now – both in followers and in how edited they are. When I first joined, it felt like more of a community and genuine care.
Thank you for letting me collaborate with you and thank you for being so kind about my writing 🙂 xx
My favorite thought process of a topic and you handled it accurately and so authentically as always. I feel like my parallel real world. It is a major part of my life so it has major influences on me. I absolutely agree with each and every perspective that you present. I feel howmuchever I decide to be my most authentic, I do curate what gets shared, and also others’ projection of how I am doing with the number of likes and comments on FB do unknowingly seep into me, even though by intention I stick to what brings me value from the true connections I make.
It is almost impossible to be truly authentic on social media because like you say, we curate what gets shared and naturally become focused on the popularity or growth of our accounts.
You have always come across honest and express your opinions beautifully on your blog. I think it’s about balance and as long as we’re ourselves and remain true to our personalities, we can have some room to create. Thank you for sharing this lovely comment 🙂