I get a lot of DM messages on Instagram complimenting my voice. Never from a British person; it’s usually Americans following cliché by admiring my South England tone. Why are people sexually attracted to accents? What makes particular ones more appealing than others?
Cultural associations
Glamour published an article on the sexiness of foreign languages. They explained how research suggests our perceptions of a culture or country relates to how appealing we find a voice. For example, many believe the French sound sexy, and France connotes romance, passion and beauty. The British accent to some portrays intelligence – an ideal quality in a partner. In my blog post about What Defines Smart, I learnt we judge intelligence based on voice.
We’re sexually attracted to accents that help define qualities we seek in a partner. In other words, countries with stereotypes we find appealing. I love the idea of living somewhere like the South of France or on a Greek island, which makes those accents charming. Emotions, memories and past dates can also define what we prefer. This explains why people differ in choice.
Digital site The Talko suggests a number of reasons why people are sexually attracted to accents. In addition to the appeal of a person potentially speaking another language, there’s intrigue behind them. We associate languages and accents with new culture and upbringing. If you feel stuck meeting the same types of dates, a foreign voice adds newness. Two of my exes have strong, different accents. One is Northern while the other is Zambian. I rarely fancy guys who speak similar to me.
Accent bias
In 2015, The Independent reported on a study showing how race alters accent expectations. Linguists from the University of British Colombia asked a group of people in Cananda to listen to Canadian speakers. The speakers have all grown up in the exact same place but vary in ethnic background. When listeners in the study knew a speaker was white, they found them easier to understand. Yet the accents were all the same.
‘Accenticism’ illustrates bias towards an individual or the community they are from, based on how they sound. So, while we’re sexually attracted to accents representing good qualities, we’re equally turned off from accents located in areas we negatively judge. We can associate accent to social class and education. Believing someone is not smart because of their speech, demonstrates prejudice whether intended or not.
An article from Forbes says research shows it takes “less than 30 seconds” to decipher “ethnic origin”, “socio-economic class” and background of a speaker. Big Seven Travel listed the supposed sexiest accents around the world in 2019. Kiwi made number one, followed by South African, Irish, Italian and Australian. The Sun meanwhile, published an article on Britain’s sexiest accent. Birmingham is last while Essex is at the top.
Sexually attracted to accents – can you adapt?
When we think about sex appeal, we typically picture physical aesthetic and classic character traits like humour and ambition. Voices hold tremendous power and especially in attraction – not a thing to ignore. While it’s difficult to locate and edit your accent, you can learn how to make your voice sexier. Seduction Science has created a guide with a number of steps to sound sexy, which includes learning to “breathe smoothly” and practicing volume and projection exercises.
If our attraction to accents is based on stereotypes and assumptions, perhaps we have control to change our feelings. Consider why you don’t like particular accents and whether that’s based on negative apprehensions. In terms of liking our own voices, maybe we need to listen to how we speak more and understand how we can improve. I for instance, think I raise my voice to high at the end of sentences. Rarely do I meet people who think they sound good.
What accents do you find sexy?
What an interesting subject! I absolutely love all the different English accents, dialects and varieties. I generally find different native accents more attractive that foreign ones. By that I mean, I like people who are able to switch between their native dialect and the standard variety of their mother tongue. Speaking a foreign language with an accent doesn’t seem that attractive in comparison, although I like most foreign accents too. I think it is definitely more acceptable to speak English with a foreign accent than some other languages, just because English is a more global language, so an accent might be the only way for a foreign speakers to show their ethnicity and culture. When you speak some other language with an accent, people might be more judgmental (or not, maybe it just depends on the people).
I don’t really like my voice as such but I have a good reason (I only have one functional vocal cord). I think the reason why I have a clear pronunciation is because I have to (due to my vocal defect)- or people wouldn’t hear me at all. Now, about the rising intonation at the end of the sentence….As far as I know, rising intonation in British English is just a way to be more polite (like when you’re talking to strangers or clients) and put emphasis on what you say. My husband criticizes me for it, because he thinks that rising intonation implies a question and that I’m doing something wrong but I don’t think I am.
When I was at school, I was taught rising intonation is used to answer questions. But it’s something I’ve done for as long as I can remember. Mine and my sister’s voices go up everytime we speak, without us realising.
I prefer as well people who can switch between their native dialect and mother tongue.
I also tend to prefer a man’s accent if his voice has a deep tone.
First of all: this was such a well-written, original and insightful post. I really, really enjoyed reading this.
I get quite a few compliments on my accent from guys and am always asked to “say something in English” which is kind of uncomfortable (don’t even really know why, I just kind of feel put on the spot when someone just demands that I talk). Growing up bilingual, people have always been fascinated that I am fluent in two languages. Seeing as I now live in Austria, the attraction to my English accent is a REAL thing. I kind of get it, but am I personally sexually attracted to certain accents? No, not really.
I have always admired the amount of research that goes into your writing and this post was no exception! x
Thank you! The idea for this post came from a conversation with my sister about language and how a lot of British people don’t speak more than one, while in other countries it’s quite normal to be bilingual.
I’m not surprised you feel uncomfortable when people ask you to say something in English. It’s always strange being put on the spot, like being asked to make up a random sentence or something.
Austria is a place I’d love to visit. It looks so beautiful. xx
I love, love, love scottish! There’s nothing better 🙂
Also, Christopher Eccleston is my favourite Doctor, based on his accent alone!
I’ve never watched Doctor Who before. When someone has an accent you love, it really adds to their whole appeal.
*Gasp!* Never watched it?
It really does 🙂
This is actually super interesting, because I feel like to an extent I’ve always known this? I can start with national accents. Not all accents in the United States sound the same, and there are definitely some of them that realllyyy turn me off. Most of them I feel indifferent towards them. Like I don’t really care if they have it, and it doesn’t really turn me on, but at the same time it doesn’t turn me off either!
I didn’t think about the idea that you might like an accent because of the idea you have of that country? Like I feel like I’m turned off of super Hispanic sounded accents, but I love some of them? Like if they have that Puerto rican accent, for whatever reason I like it? Maybe because of the fact that I feel like I can relate to them because they are Hispanic from the caribbean.
I also really like french accents, australian/kiwi accents, irish accents, and some british accents. I feel like when I was younger, I didn’t realize that there were different english accents? I feel like the interpretation they give in america is typically posh accents. It wasn’t until I watched the UK version of Skins, I realized that there were different kinds of english accents. On top of that, I’ve become much more used to the different kinds of accents because of love island. So I do like some of them, but not all of them. Great post Laura xxx
Melina | http://www.melinaelisa.com
Thank you Melina! There are so many different British accents. Even in London they are quite diverse. American T.V shows always portray British as very posh, but I never really hear people speak like that.
I forgot to mention in the post, last year I was interviewing a Frenchman with a super deep voice and I found it so attractive! But looking back on it, I think it’s partly due to how smooth he sounded – his voice was really mellow and confident.
So maybe it’s not just about accents, it’s also about clarity and how self-assured we sound. xxx
I definitely think that the person themselves either make or break the accent!
Oh, what a post. Another one I so relate to. I adore accents. In New York I stayed away from the ladies with that heavy New York accent (like mine). I was alwasys attracted to ladies with accents. It made me curious. It encouraged me to learn more about them and their cultures. When I meet a lady that is different from me, I am intrigued. And obviously, that accent is the first clue.
As for the British accent. I find it fascinating. It remind me of a Jaguar commercial we had here in the States. It had a few big actors Bens Kingsley, Tom Hiddleston, and Mark Strong. And in the commercial it was talking about how all the great villains in Hollywood movies were Brits (because of their accents). I bet you have a cute one ,too. Much better than mine.
I like deep New York accents. Maybe just deep voices in general, as long as they don’t sound threatening lol.
When I went to Miami, so many people said they loved my accent. I think it’s because it’s different and people are drawn to those who stand out. Thank you for reading and commenting! 🙂
I’m not sexually attraced to accents lol but I do love that British accent! Def really nice to listen to
Probably because I’m British myself, I don’t have a thing for it. Sometimes if I find a guy attractive, I’ll naturally start to like how he speaks.
Attraction to accents, yes, but for me I wouldn’t say oh-my-god-i-am-taking-my-clothes-off sexual attraction to accents 😉
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It would have to be some accent to make me consider that.. I think accents do help though in the overall picture of whether or not I like someone 🙂
This was an interesting read! (Definitely don’t agree with their version of the world’s sexiest accents… kiwi and Zambian over Irish? No way) xx
Thank you! I don’t have a thing for Irish accents but I know a lot of people that do..I’m surprised it didn’t reach higher in the list. xx