Reader Interactions


  1. Ivana Split says

    Beauty standards are always changing, so I don’t understand people who would even think that Beauty is a goal that can be attained. In most cases, trying to look attractive is so much work it leaves one tired and exhausted (and that’s never an attractive look). Education on other hand is a goal that can be attained.
    As far as men not preferring intelligent women, that’s definitely not true. When it comes to flings, I don’t anyone would ever have problems with those, because most men will always be open to them, no matter how attractive or not attractive (according to society) some women might be. As for men being turn on by intelligence when it comes to settling down, it only makes sense, the same applies to women I’m sure. I think all men today prefer a women who has an education and a career. It is simply not possible to raise a family on a salary of one person, so when people do want to settle down they both look for someone similar to themselves in terms of life expectations and so on. Doctors often marry doctors, teachers teachers and so on.
    Is it better to be smart than attractive? is a question that makes sense on a more global level. It would definitely be better if we taught girls to invest more effort into education, building skills and talents than into making themselves beautiful. However, we must also understand that not all people are equally intelligent or willing to work on developing their creative skills and talents. To each their own as they say. Let shallow people be shallow, but let us not idolize them and present them as role models for young girls and boys, that’s my philosophy in a nutshell.

    • LauraJ says

      Because society idolises “beautiful” people (however that’s defined at a particular time), many view beauty as a goal that can make them happy and successful. Especially because of IG where attractive people become influencers.
      At school, I unfortunately spent more time worrying about my looks than focusing on my education. I managed to do well, but I could have achieved much more if I had stayed focus.
      In school though, there’s a divide between intellectual subjects and creative. I believe a lot of creative people can feel unintelligent as they may be better at art than science.
      Beauty in some ways, is open to everyone. Marketing suggests cosmetics, self-tanning and good fashion will achieve the goal. So I understand why people choose beauty, but I think that’s a shame.

  2. thelonelyauthorblog says

    I was smiling as I read this. I know most men NEED to be attractive to a woman, looks can only go so far.
    I disagree with The Independent, but I guess I speak for a minority. A clever intelligent woman can be so
    fascinating. I don’t need a supermodel (nor a genius) but I do enjoy the company of a woman who can
    challenge my mind.

    Now, I am not going to say I will go out with an unattractive lady (although I have), but a mildly pretty girl
    with a great sense of humor, good conversation, and smarts, will go along way with me.

    • LauraJ says

      A weird thing about me – every guy I’ve dated, I’ve never liked their looks at the beginning. I never thought wow, they are attractive. It’s only after talking and finding out more about them, that I start to think their really good looking.
      I think there are many different types of beauty but society tends to dictate just one look, which people then spend forever trying to copy. So I think it’s important that a person finds their partner attractive, but not that they fit a type of mould considered ideal.
      Thank you for commenting Andrew. I’ve not checked WordPress reader for a while but I’m sure you have some good poems I need to catch up on 🙂

  3. Storm Fulara says

    I think being attractive in general, as in to other people, isn’t something I find to be personally important (although I know it does come into play in most areas of life – finding a partner, being picked for a certain job role etc.)

    I do think though, that looking how you authentically want to look is very important! In fact, I think it is arguably the main contributor to having good mental health and leading a happy, healthy life. Looking how you want to look, feeling like you’re physically representing yourself in an authentic way, has such a drastic impact on an individuals self esteem and ability to be productive and positive.

    Although I do of course think being studious and always learning is incredibly important (being a final year Astrophysics student myself), I do think that when I feel like I’m genuinely happy on a personal level with how I physically look, I’m more able to study, and find that vice versa isn’t really true. I have also seen loved ones e.g. my partner and the impact that this stuff has on them. A one hour makeover (hair and shave) from my partner has a much bigger impact on him than a one hour reading session. Both are extremely important to his wellbeing, but I see a completely different man when he’s had a fresh haircut in terms of how he carries himself, his positivity and his self esteem, compared to if he replaced that haircut with some reading.

    I think it is much less about attempting to look the way you think other people want you to look, and is much more about looking the way that you think reflects who you genuinely are.

    So, I think people should focus on both, essentially. They should get themselves to pretty much look how they want to look, and then maintain that look daily whilst also stimulating their mind by learning new things daily.

    • LauraJ says

      I think it is important that people look how they want to look, but I think it’s hard to know what’s authentic to you. When I had really low insecurity, I kept trying to fix and edit my physical appearance – just creating the looks I saw in the media because I didn’t have the confidence to trust my opinion.

      I also find when I feel confident in myself and where I’m going, I tend to like my physical appearance more. But if I’m feeling a little sad or stressed, I begin to criticise my looks.

      Sometimes you can’t beat the feeling of a good haircut. I do think it’s important to take care of yourself, but as you said, it’s more about reflecting who you are genuinely.

      Thank you for taking the time to comment. I enjoyed reading what you had to say :).

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *