Reader Interactions


  1. Ivana Split says

    I did actually have friends who didn’t pay me back, but I don’t regret giving them the money. They needed it, I had it at the time, for me it is a reason good enough. At the moment I don’t have any money to lend if someone asks (high mortgage and all that) but if I had, I would do the same again. My rule is- never lend money to someone you wouldn’t be comfortable gifting it to. I like how you put it, it is important how you feel in that relationship. If a friendship is really close, money might not be an objective at all, you might feel more than happy for the opportunity to give. However, how many friendships are really like that? Not that many, that is why it is important to know what we are comfortable with. If you are not sure what you’re getting out of that friendship, you need to think twice before lending and/or make sure there is a mutual understanding of the giving/taking/returning process. Great article!

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you! I have a couple of friends I would happily lend money to (if I could afford it), but otherwise I would say no.

      If a friend doesn’t pay me back, it’s really about whether or not they have the money. If they were out buying expensive things and booking holidays, I would find it strange if they didn’t prioritise paying me back. I like your rule – if I wouldn’t gift them money, I wouldn’t want them to borrow it.

  2. Dominika says

    I found this post really interesting and informative! Luckily enough, I’ve never been in a situation where a friend didn’t pay me back, but I’m definitely guilty of #2. I spent way more money than I should’ve just because I was trying to keep up with a friend’s lifestyle. It’s very important to allow ourselves the option to say ‘no’ when we don’t feel like doing something, a true friend will understand anyway!

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you for reading! I wish I had learnt how to say no years earlier. You’re right that true friends will understand.

  3. crystalsandcurls says

    This is a great post…It’s weird, I logically have a hard and fast rule of “I don’t loan money to friends”, but I’ll happily spend it on them as more of a gift (Like buying concert tickets or drinks). I think the money thing more comes from the fact that I know to lend a friend £200 would put me out and make me resent them if they couldn’t pay me back whereas there’s no expectation with a gift. I’m paying what I can afford and I don’t want you to give it back xx

    • LauraJ says

      Gifts are much easier because you have control of what you can spend and there’s no money putting pressure on a friendship. It would be a really awkward situation if you needed money back that a friend didn’t have. xx

  4. Beyoutiful says

    Totally agree with your rules and tips. It’s totally fine to lend a friend some money or pay for them as long as they don’t take you for granted, or take advantage of it. As long as you have a mutual understanding of each other’s situation and help each other out genuinely, I feel like it’s fine. It should usually be a fair share but I guess birthday’s don’t always count.

    This is def a great topic to think about! Insightful article girl 🙂

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you lovely. There’s only a small of handful of people I trust enough to lend money to. I think it also depends on the amount. But when the respect is there and neither take the situation for granted, it can really strengthen a friendship. 🙂

  5. K.M. Sutton says

    This is such an interesting perspective one I honestly had never thought about. Your first paragraphs especially resonated, because you are right we DO spend money on Birthdays and Holidays and in that respect we definitely do mix money, in a way I had never really considered, that does blur the lines. Thanks so much for this article. Definitely giving me food for thought! <3

    • LauraJ says

      It was actually a Sex and the City episode I mentioned a few weeks back (the one with Carrie’s shoes being stolen) that made me think about money and how we can spend a lot more on a person if they get married and have children. Thank you for reading x

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