Reader Interactions


  1. jdiorio51Julie says

    This article caught my eye. I am dating a man that I am not attracted to but he is just the nicest man. He brings me flowers, never lets me pay for anything, has money, dresses stylishly but I look at him and he has a smooshed nose that just bugs the hell out of me. Crazy, huh? We do have a good time and he is always saying how gorgeous, smart and funny I am – it’s like the perfect man except for the attraction. I know he feels it for me, I just don’t feel it for him. Have not kissed him yet and we have been on over 10 dates. When I go to hug him, I cringe. Awful! I think it’s time to end it before he falls in love. I hate to hurt him now, but when you know that one is attracted and other isn’t, it really should end. I want to feel that “passion” again – that built-up to the most passionate kiss. AND, yes, physical attraction even at my age of 59 years old is so important unless you both agree that you just want to be friends.

    • LauraJ says

      It’s difficult when you find someone who seems to tick every box, but the physical chemistry is lacking. Sometimes, you can initially not fancy a person at all and then grow to find them attractive within time. That’s happened to me.

      Physical attraction is so important – I hope since your message, you have come to a decision with the guy, and I hope you find someone who gives you that spark. I think a relationship without it doesn’t hold substance.

  2. Sophia says

    Attraction is definitely important but it’s subjective to everyone and I definitely believe that whilst you can have instant attraction, you fall in love with someone’s personality over time and that influences how you look at someone. Like your experience with an ex where date 3 something clicked.
    That’s how I felt with my current partner.

    Sex is also a hard topic because even if you’re physically attracted, if their libido doesn’t match yours but you’ve created a life together and you’re genuinely happy in every other area, it’s tough to throw that away based on sexual ideals.

    • LauraJ says

      I think that’s a problem some people have with sex and appearance – is it worth throwing away an otherwise happy relationship because the sex isn’t perfect or the physical attraction isn’t 100%.

      Attraction can definitely build over time, once you get to know someone more, but only if the chemistry is there.

  3. Melina Elisa says

    My last ex, I met in a club, I was obviously on the tipsy/drunker side, and we flirted and exchanged numbers. After texting for a few days, we decided to go on a date. He was much different than I remembered him looking. Drunk goggles definitely took a life of their own. While he was attractive, and gave me butterflies, I wasn’t sure if we actually had chemistry.
    All the people I’ve dated are so different looking from eachother. Some weren’t very attractive but there was loads of chemistry, others were attractive, and yet there was none. So it’s not necessarily that they have to be attractive, there has to be some type of chemistry that gets you giddy with excitement to talk to them, see them, and date them.
    This was a great post! I have this conversation with my girls all the time xxx

    Melina |

    • LauraJ says

      I met a guy a few months back in a club as well but had the opposite situation. When we first met, I was tipsy and didn’t think he was attractive, and then on our first date I thought he was good looking.
      Chemistry is the magic word really, without that, looks and everything else doesn’t hold much substance. Thank you for reading! xxx

  4. Beyoutiful says

    This is def a food for thought! I prefer to be physically attracted to a guy that I’m dating. Even if he is not the most good looking, something about him should be attractive, maybe the eyes because I feel that maybe that could lead to a better chemistry. I’m not saying it’s a must for me but I would def prefer it. I guess you could date a guy that you weren’t physically attracted to but he needs to be really attractive in other things such as sense of humor, good listener & conversationalist, etc. The personality is what really catches the heart and I would def go on more dates to see for more chemistry. Physical attraction is good but I wouldn’t decide whether I wanted to date someone or not just by that. I feel that it def is possible to date someone and have a good relationship with a guy even if you’re not physically attracted to them. Great post girl 🙂

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you lovely! I didn’t find two of my ex boyfriends good looking when we first met. But after our first dates, I started to find them physically attractive and began to notice their great eyes and smiles etc.
      Looks are not an absolute deal breaker, but if I couldn’t find a guy attractive at all physically, it would become an issue. x


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