Reader Interactions


  1. Caitlyn says

    Usually if I have sex on the first date it’s because I am more interested in having sex than dating them. Some I don’t even want to date. Usually if I do this I set them up as a fwb not bf. If I’m actually interested in dating I wait a few dates but it’s not a rule, just usually how it works out.

    • LauraJ says

      This remains the only experience I’ve had with first date sex. During the date, I remember having this great time and thinking this could be something serious. But in the morning, I just didn’t that same feeling. I’m not sure if I would have first date sex again, and whether it would form into a relationship. But I will never say never 🙂

  2. Dortea says

    I’ve never had sex on the first date. I’m conservative but I don’t judge others that do. As always, I enjoyed reading.

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you Dortea. First date sex is not for everyone and up until I had actually done it, I was very uninterested. Thanks for reading.

  3. LauraJ says

    Thank you!! Lovely to see your name on WP! I agree with you and think instinct plays a huge part. I’m sure they’re some guys who for whatever reason, seem more reliable and ideal to sleep with on the first night, while others on the second or third. xx

  4. hoiyinli says

    This is actually such a daring post (in my honest opinion) but one that’s probably much needed. My friends recently told me about the five date rule where you don’t sleep with them until after. I broke that rule almost immediately but it was one of those spur of the moment things. It can be risqué but I think like you said, it helps weed out those who aren’t serious…or it could be a one-off thing which is totally fine, just another story to tell in the future.

    I recently read a similar thread on Twitter and many actually said they embarked on years-long relationships or even married the person they had sex with on the first date; so in a lot of ways, the five date rule means nothing.

    • LauraJ says

      I don’t believe in the five date rule. Sex changes a lot and it can go either way – feelings grow stronger or more distant. It’s hard to predict someone will stick around just because they’ve had more dates.

      Also, maybe some guys see waiting as part of a chase and it becomes a game of when will she agree. I think a lot of this conversation stems on the person, trying to find someone who doesn’t live life playing a ‘numbers game’.

      I guess my last point which I didn’t mention in the post; if you sleep with a guy early on, it’s probably going to hurt less if they vanish after. But having said all this, I do also see the other side and sometimes it’s nice to have sex once you know someone and feel comfortable, and it can be more romantic and meaningful.

      • hoiyinli says

        I think you made a lot of good points. There is no rule to any of this. I mean, if there was, people wouldn’t cheat whilst on a long-term relationship of 2+ years and all this other nonsense. There’s people who get engaged up to a year and happily have kids thereafter. I think you hit the nail on the head by mentioning that it becomes a game.

  5. Melina Elisa says

    I actually have never had sex on the first date. While I have had a one night stand, it wasn’t really a date, and I wasn’t even considering him to be a potential romantic partner. I don’t know why, but I always get so nervous about having sex on the first date. I honestly don’t know why. I don’t judge others who do it, so why don’t I? I guess I’m a little traditional in that sense. The girl made a great point though. It definitely would weed out people who aren’t serious. Great post xxx

    Melina |

    • LauraJ says

      Before this date, I never ever thought about sex on the first date. I would always go on dates with the full intention of going home after. But I have to say, now I’ve done it, it didn’t feel much different from waiting for the second or third. Maybe a lot of it depends on connection and feeling comfortable.
      I don’t know if I could go back to a guy’s house if I had nerves or some kind of bad instinct. You really have to trust that the guy is a nice person and you’re not going to spend the night at some random, unhygienic place or have some super awkward moment. xxx

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