Reader Interactions


  1. LauraJ says

    It seems the coffee guy just made no effort. Even taking you to a place that he goes to regularly, there’s not much thought. It’s like a date I had a few days ago where he chose a bar that was packed, didn’t really think about it. I prefer when there’s a clear plan.

    With the current guy, the only other thing I can think, is maybe he’s been online dating for a while. Sometimes I take time to respond because I’m so aware of how fleeting it can be, and I’m cautious giving too much time to someone I’ve not met. Give it time and see what he’s like in person.

  2. LauraJ says

    I think you should go with your instincts. I usually find the way a guy communicates via text is the way they’ll continue to communicate in a relationship.

    Especially at the beginning stages when you’re suppose to be in the ‘impress me stage’, going out of your way to get another person’s attention. Having said that, he could just be very busy. I’d consider not the actual length of time it takes, but what he actually chooses to message. Does he take time to leave good responses?

    With the Tinder date, I was reading in shock – how rude! I would have wanted to just leave. Not only to arrive late. but to then make you come and meet him, and THEN find he has his coffee ready just sat there.

    I’m really not a canceller either. In fact, this post shares the only time I’ve cancelled last minute like this. The closer I got to meeting him, the more I started to look for excuses to back out. And while I wrote this post feeling really guilty and bad about it, I realise now I made the best decision. His response was pretty bad. And overall, he made hardly any effort while expecting me to travel to him.

  3. The Life of Jea says

    I do understand that people have to cancel, even last minute, every now and then. But for reasons from my childhood, I only do so if I absolutely can’t get around it. When people cancel, and don’t reschedule, I feel like (again, childhood issues here) I’m just a horrible person that people can’t stand to be around. I know it’s silly to think/feel like that, but yeah… reasons… I’m working on it though 🙂

    With that said – it’s important to think of ourselves first. I mean, we don’t cancel on someone to be rude. Sometimes it’s just the best thing to do. I even think it’s a healthy thing to do, to not do something because we are to afraid to cancel. When it comes to rescheduling… it depends on who it’s with, what we’re suppsed to do, etc.

    • LauraJ says

      Looking back now, even though I hate cancelling last-minute, I’m glad I made the decision. It wouldn’t have been good in the long run if I had gone along and pretended.

      It’s never nice when someone doesn’t reschedule though. I think now because of the #selflove movement, people feel more okay about cancelling and putting themselves first. There’s less guilt attached.

  4. Beyoutiful says

    Sorry to hear about your wisdom teeth hun! Hope you’re feeling better now 🙂

    I thought it’s totally ok that you cancelled on him because you really weren’t feeling well. I mean a mature person would understand if there was a specific good reason why you cancelled on him.

    I guess it depends on the reason. If a guy cancelled on me because of problems, illnesses, emergencies or like a legit reason then I have no problems and wouldn’t mind. But if he canclled because he just wasn’t feeling it or had other plans with friends, then that is just no excuse and I wouldn’t want to date him for sure if he just kept flaking on me.

    I usually don’t flake on people or cancel last minute unless it’s a really important reason. But now that we are in our 20’s, I prefer and expect men now to be more consistent and stable and not waste my time flaking on me if they are just looking for a short term fling or something. Just totally done with that stuff.

    Great post girl

    • LauraJ says

      Thank you girl. The pain is very on and off.

      I don’t think he took the cancellation well at all, but I do know how irritating it can be when you prepare for something which then doesn’t happen.

      Yes a guy cancelling just to hang out with his friends or Netflix whatever, is such a lame excuse. You do expect at last minute, for someone to have a decent reason.

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