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  1. hoiyinli says

    Not to be morbid, but I think the idea of romance in today’s society is in the pits of hell at this moment. People don’t seem to want to get married now unless they want to build a family maybe but even then, that’s kinda no longer the rule. People at first, will want a life partner to share a mortgage with and to be a little less lonely. Yet there are others who could do with having a partner – maybe even without the commitment card…just someone to have hang around now and again. I think love does still exist but people are making it harder for themselves to believe in it because there are more options now than ever and therefore they’ve become more picky and challenging.

    • LauraJ says

      I kind of disagree that the idea of romance today is in hell or bad. I do think people have more options and with that, more confusion and pickiness. I also think a lot of people are waiting around and seeing relationships as something you have to do once you reach your mid-thirties and are running out of time for a family. Rather than actually wanting to grow and develop with someone.

      But at the same time, I think it’s good that people are breaking away from what society tells us, and putting themselves or their career first. Maybe life has just made love too calculated. We’re not optimistically walking into a bar and assuming a great love is there – we’re walking into bars and assuming there’s a lot of uninteresting people, and maybe the people worth considering don’t actually have the same hobbies or political views etc.
      How are you finding online dating now? I am super close to getting rid of it.

      • hoiyinli says

        I was probably being over-dramatic if anything.

        Since the last time we spoke….I did end up having a date with that guy who I cancelled on! And it was a really good date! (In fact, my favourite from all that I’ve had recently.) BUT I didn’t walk away fancying the guy which is fine, I still wanted to get to know him and by the end of the date, we mutually agreed that it was great meeting up and that we’d both like to see each other again. We hugged and he gave me a peck on my hairline if that makes sense? We laughed A LOT during the date and I felt very comfortable. We spoke about a lot of topics so flow of conversation was really natural and fun. The texting afterwards and the day after (which also happened to be Valentine’s Day) was nice in terms of “looking forward to seeing you again” and all that crap (you’ll see why…). On the weekend we didn’t text at all but we were both busy with our own schedules so in some mutually weird way, I guess we thought that was fine?

        I end up texting him the Tuesday after, just a casual “Hi, hope you had a good weekend” or whatever. We talk a little here and there but the flow is very slow-moving. He finally says so sorry but his schedule for that week and the week after looks very hectic but he’ll let me know if I’m still happy to meet up? (may I add, in a gentlemanly way…cos yeah, that always makes things better eh?) I say “Yeah, sure, whatever” but really, I’m thinking, I’m sorry but no one is THAT busy. Before I met him and after I met him, I don’t know what it was but I had this very strong intuition that he was bad news. More often than not, my intuition is accurate. I will be VERY surprised if I hear from him again!

        I’m still on the platform and trying to stick with it…for how long, I really don’t know. But. my experience does seem to be getting worse even when the dates are getting better!

        • LauraJ says

          Once again, I’m mentally nodding along to what you’ve said and can share a similar experience. I question how many of these guys on dating sites actually want relationships.

          Maybe he had a great time but doesn’t want to commit or thinks he can just respond whenever. Sometimes when a guy knows you like them, they feel they can relax a bit.

          Time will tell I guess as to whether he does respond. I think people can get that busy and I’m sometimes really bad with taking days to respond. Because my job is typing, I often want to get home and not look at my phone. But having said that, if I’ve met someone and like them, I’m usually keen to always reply.

          The test will be whether he comes up with a date to meet, takes initiative to arrange and texts to see how you are.

I would love to read your thoughts!

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