A little tongue-in-cheek… I’ve put together a list on how guys use Instagram. The inspiration arrived when a friend laughed at one man’s excessive likes. With sudden urge, I retorted, “Those guys! They scroll through your profile to uploads from ages ago”.
Here are 11 specific types of men you could meet. How many have you come across?
How do you tell if a guy likes you on Instagram? Mr. Admirer won’t make you question their attraction. When others say you look great, Mr. Admirer declares you’re ABSOLUTELY STUNNING! Every image you capture: Breath-taking! Your voice is poetic; you do not walk – you glide. Mr. Admirer tells you you’re MINDBLOWINGLY BEAUTIFUL – precisely when you feel niggling doubt.
The way many guys use Instagram. Mr. Emoji will never speak with words. You shan’t read a simple hello or Happy Birthday from him, ever. But you will be sent online birthday cakes and party hats. He’s always ready to send you claps and fire symbols when you post a story. He becomes the fabric to your stories: if you don’t receive a clap from him, you’ll wonder what on earth’s gone wrong? (Some emoji guys face a language barrier).
The rare kind. He’s not flirtatious in a sexual manner – unless you commence sexting first. He doesn’t comment only on images displaying body parts. Mr. Friend takes an interest in your captions, musings, thoughts. You can chat to him about anything. At times, it’s easy to forget you’ve not met in person. You often note to each other: We should actually meet one day.
Not quite a friend – you don’t speak enough to warrant such a label. With that said, Mr. Supporter does possess friendship qualities. He’ll provide advice and suggestions; he’ll take part in your story polls. And after a tiring day when you go home and open up Instagram, you’ll smile at his “Have an awesome week” comment.
“Where are you from?”
“Where do you live?”
“How old are you?”
“I want to meet you!”
Imagine walking down a street and abruptly, a man approaches you to ask about your location and D.O.B. You’d be creeped out, right? And that creepiness transcends both online and off. It’s alarming and strange for someone to request personal information when you’ve not once said hi before.
Joining the creepy list: A man (stranger) who began to comment, “My baby, can’t wait to marry you”; “Wifey, you make me so happy”. When I asked him to stop, he replied, “Okay. What’s your problem?” As Madison Avenue sang, “Don’t Call Me Baby”.
They don’t want to comment, like, engage…. they simply wish to stare. They’re around to glance at you and keep up with what you’re doing. Don’t expect much more from them. Every now and again, some come out from behind their curtain to share a like. Occasionally, Mr. Lurk is Mr. Ex. Or that guy who clumsily got on top of you and made sex an uncomfortable experience. You never know how long Mr. Lurk will spy – it’s all part of their mystery.
Mr. Enthusiastic Liker
30 likes in three minutes: the sign of a successful post. Well, not quite. Enter Mr. Liker. When you least expect it, he’s on your feed with his thumbs tapping at impressive speed, liking countless posts. It’s nice when old pics receive attention – I appreciate the liker’s effort. A word of caution though: going back to like photos from a year ago – a tad creepy.
If you’ve had your IG account for more than a year, you’ll know who Mr. Cool refers to. They resemble those old acquaintances you haven’t seen in a while. The people you naturally separate from due to life circumstances: Changing jobs, moving away.
As you grow and edit your style, your social media friends will also adapt. Mr. Cool (the man who use to enjoy your posts) doesn’t agree with your new aesthetic, or maybe your selfies now bore him. Equally, your interest in their food imagery has waned. That doesn’t mean you want them to disappear. For all the moments you backed each other’s photos, you’ve formed mutual respect. Which means the odd interaction. You’re that cool with one another, you believe you could DM them whenever, and they’d always respond.
Oh, when DM guys use Instagram. Expect them to DM more than they post. Mr. Flirt, Mr. I’m positive… These are the people putting self-love and self-belief to practice. Despite no prior talk or intrigue, they have the confidence to message WHATEVER they want. They’ll send you their penis, they’ll name you “Babygirl”. They’ll send you photos of their bodies as they lift weights.
Their equivalent: Men who wolf-whistle on the street. How do you appropriately reply to these guys – does anyone know? You might consider ignoring and blocking.
Something in your caption picks their interest. This off-sets a deep conversation where they relay their opinions. You end up exchanging communication until the topic runs its course. Then, silence. You hear from them again when they want to discuss a different subject.
Mr. Music Promoter
Women typically invite me to join skincare, fitness and hair companies. Men classically send me their music demo’s and songs on YouTube. Can anyone else relate? Perhaps my music addiction (listening to songs during tasks) is apparent on my Insta and I’m unknowingly sending out I’ll listen to your demo vibes. Hmm.