The Benefits of Lube: Overcoming the Stigma

When I asked two thirty-somethings if they use lube, they said ‘No’ with sharpness, as though I had asked if they had menopausal symptoms.

Studies show vaginal dryness is common for anyone between 18 —50. There are various causes such as stress, medication — like contraceptive pills, breastfeeding and irritant soaps and body wash.

Lyrics from women artists suggest wetness below makes you incredible in bed — the equivalent of men bragging about their size. From Cardi B’s ‘WAP’ to Rihanna’s ‘Sex with Me’ that includes the line ‘And it’s always wet, a b*tch never ever had to use lip gloss on it’.

Our bodies are not taps that instantly gush water at our command, yet we pressurise ourselves to perform in such a mechanical way. Perhaps the stigma of dryness is why a survey found 1 in 13 UK women experience pain during sex.

A remedy to this problem is lubricant, but that’s also where we’re going wrong. We view lube as a solution product for an embarrassing problem (though actually, it’s not shameful and rather common). Lube is a luxury and essential item for people who want to enjoy pleasurable sex.

Quite frankly, no amount of natural, body-producing lubricant can match a bottle of lube that you can apply liberally.

To discuss the benefits and stigma in more detail, I spoke to intimate wellness brand, Luviss. They recently gifted me with their fragrance-free and natural water-based lubricant.

When asked about the stigma around lube, they said, ‘There should be no shame about using lube. Wetter is always better! Lube is for everyone, not only does it enhance sensations and make sex a lot more pleasurable, but it can really help you explore your body and your own self pleasure.’

The brand in particular highlights that lube is strongly recommended ‘for anal sex as there is no natural lubrication in the anus. Without using lube, you risk tearing tissue and causing pain’.

Besides being an anal sex essential, Luviss says lube:

• Enhances sensations —makes sex/solo fun a lot more pleasurable and makes it easier to orgasm.
• Is a great item to add to the bedroom to spice things up with a partner.
• Can help stop condoms breaking – [helping to reduce possible STDs].
• Can be used with sex toys (not all lubricants — silicone in particular — can be used on sex toys so check before using – water-based is compatible).

I have appreciated lube since receiving a bottle from a PR event — the go-to gift for sexual wellness brands.

Once I dropped my ego and removed the fear that lube indicated dryness and a lack of sexual prowess, sex became more enjoyable and thrilling.

Because here’s the thing:

• Dryness can occur from having too much sex. But equally, going without sex for a long time can also cause dryness.
• Sometimes your brain is turned on, but your body is behind on catching up — this could be due to stress, worries or body insecurities.
• Passionate, spontaneous sex doesn’t always provide the stimulation you need to get your juices flowing. Speak to your sexual partner, however, about increasing sexual stimulation if this is an ongoing issue.
• It’s unrealistic to have Cardi B’s ‘WAP’ 24/7 — that in any given moment, your partner can initiate sex and you’ll be ‘ready’.
• Lube is a tool to enhance what you’re working with — you can be incredibly wet and still have more pleasure using a lubricant.

While many lubes are in plastic, small containers — perfect to hide away in drawers — Luviss displays theirs in an elegant glass bottle. They purposely designed their lubricant to look aesthetically pleasing on bathroom shelves and next to hand cream on your bedside table. This makes a point that there is no shame or anything to hide.

When choosing which type of lube, oil-based and water-based are the most common. Oil-based can work as a massage tool – the rich consistency makes the lube easy to spread.

However, oil-based lubricant is not compatible with sex toys and condoms, whereas water-based lubricant is. Luviss says ‘Oil-based lubricants can erode latex condoms and silicone lubes can damage certain sex toys.’

In addition, when comparing the two, Luviss points out that:

• Oil based formulas can stain sheets / clothing and generally are messier. Whereas water-based lubricants do not stain sheets or fabrics. 

• Oils such as Coconut oil can disrupt a woman’s natural balance pH, which can lead to infection.
  
• Oil-based lubricants tend to encourage bacteria, creating an optimum environment for infections. 
  
• Our [Luviss] water-based texture resembles that of natural bodily lubricant whereas oil-based & silicone lubricants tend to feel oily and less natural.

As well as Luviss producing a water-based lube, the brand creates body-friendly, natural and vegan formulas. Their lubricant contains no fragrance, parabens or any known skin irritants.

Luviss says, ‘The chemicals and sugars found in scented and flavoured lubricant can often do more harm than good. They can potentially cause infections and irritation, along with affecting a woman`s pH. Lubricants that are made without parabens are less likely to interfere with hormone signalling and fertility. Look for a lubricant that does not have “paraben” ingredients or is listed as “paraben free” or “made without parabens”.’

I love that the Luviss lubricant contains chamomile, green tea and aloe vera to nourish and hydrate your intimate area. I can squirt it on my hands and rub it in without a horrible stickiness – it quickly absorbs so there’s no need for tissue.

Whichever lubricant you choose, be mindful of harsh fragrances and chemicals. Also, apply freely each time you have sex or whenever you want that extra support — there are no rules.

Find out more about the Luviss water-based lubricant and why lube is important with their consultant sexologist, Emily King.